Pain Without Love
by Stormi Sky
Summary: Kaoru loves Hikaru. Hikaru loves Kaoru. But neither want the other to know of this unspoken love. Is it possible for this forbidden love to bloom? Or will it slowly wither and die? HikaruKaoru
1. A talk in Darkness

**Thanks for opening this story. I hope you like it - My very first Ouran High School fanfic, enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own anything. If I did own the twins...I'm not going to finish that sentence.**

Hikaru. It was one word, one name. But it meant so much to him. It meant more than his own name, Kaoru. To most it meant nothing, it was only the name of one of the brothers, just one of the Hitachiin Twins. It didn't matter to them which was which, as long as they got the pair, they were happy.

It was enough to make Kaoru sick. Didn't anyone care who his brother was? Didn't anyone care who _he _was? No, of course not. That's why Hikaru had come up with such good lies. Their little "Brotherly Love" act was flawless. Of course, Tamaki was the one who thought it up, but Hikaru made it perfect. Every tear, every gesture, every laugh...all of it was a lie. Hikaru of course knew, and so did Kaoru. And it killed him. Why couldn't the tales that Hikaru thought up so quickly and expertly actually be truth?

They had always shared everything with each other, but Kaoru wouldn't ever tell his newest secret, not ever. His brother would have nothing more to do with him if he told his dark secret. All of his friends would turn their back on him. The girls of course would love it, but they didn't matter to him. Not even his friends mattered to him.

Everything was about Hikaru.

When Hikaru smiled, Kaoru smiled. When Hikaru cried, Kaoru cried. When Hikaru would die...Kaoru promised that he would follow. When he had told his brother this, Hikaru laughed and told him to live his life freely. Not to grieve for him. Kaoru just smiled and shrugged it off, determined to die along side the only person he had ever truly loved. But he didn't further tell Hikaru his feelings on the matter, it would only be upsetting for both twins.

"Hikaru?"

Hikaru opened one eye to look over at his twin. It was dark so he could only just see an outline, but of course he remembered what Kaoru looked like, he was his twin after all. "Yes Kaoru?"

"Nothing. I was just checking to see if you were asleep yet. That's all."

"Not yet. Are you sure there is nothing else on your mind?" Hikaru asked, a question followed with a large yawn. It seemed as though Kaoru had been troubled lately and it worried him greatly. Even tonight as they lay in their bed, Kaoru seemed to be restless with unspoken thoughts and worries. Hikaru would never get to sleep with his twin in such a state.

"Well...No, it's nothing," Kaoru answered with an unseen smile in the darkness. Hikaru didn't seem to be satisfied with this answer so Kaoru quickly added, "Um, there is this one thing..."

"Then tell me," Hikaru gently commanded his twin. His twin meerly sighed and responded with a tired, "In the morning. Good night."

Hikaru sighed too as Kaoru turned his back on him. Why did Kaoru seem so distant now? Was it something he had done? He replayed this month's moments over and over again in his head, but nothing came to mind. So he decided to give up on the topic until morning. He buried his face into his pillow and gave a tired sigh. "Good night Kaoru."

His brother didn't hear these words however, for he had already entered a dreamy abyss. This meant that he also didn't feel the hand run through his ginger-colored hair or hear the sweet "I love you" whispered in his ear. He wasn't even able to feel his brother's lips briefly brush against the back of his neck.

"Sweet dreams."

**Well, this was the first Chapter. What did you think? Hope you liked it. Please review. They make me happy and I wont update without them. i'm hoping three at the least please? I'd appreciate it. 3**


	2. Hide and seek, Hitachiin style

**Okay, second chapter. Sorry these are so short...it would take me forever to update if I took my time. Thank you for all the reviews, that made me smile! - So please, enjoy the next chapter!**

It was one of the most depressing days you could ever see. Ugly gray clouds fillled the air, dropiping drop by drop of rain from them slowly. It was a light drizzle, complete with a thick fog, and it was way too early in the morning to deal with it. A pair of grumpy twin brothers walked beneath a blue umbrella, heading down the stairs to the limo at the end. The driver leaned against the car waiting, his suit slick from the wet weather.

"Hitachiins! Good morning!" he shouted happily at the two as they approached. They meerly nodded, both nods accompanied by a sigh. The driver opened the door for them and both slid in, first Hikaru and then Kaoru. The driver made his way around the car and started it up. They sat in silence as they left their family's estate. After a rather awkward silence between the two, Hikaru decided to speak. "Are you going to tell me what was wrong with you last night?"

Kaoru visibly stiffened and turned to look out the window at the passing buildings. He knew his brother wouldn't just drop it, so asked, "What are you talking about Hikaru? There was nothing wrong with me."

"That a lie, and you know it," Hikaru pointed out a frown. Of course he knew when something was wrong. He had been around him since they were little, and more than that, he had begun to watch everything his brother did. Every little thing seemed to fascinate him. Whether it be Kaoru pouring tea for the ladies of the Host Club, or even just his small, mischievious smile. He had been watching so closely, how could something like this happen? What could be so horrible that Kaoru couldn't even tell his own brother?

Kaoru looked over to his brother with a frown of his own. Hikaru was too smart for his own good at times. "Don't worry so much Hikaru, your hair will fall out."

Hikaru blinked a few times, not expecting such a humourous reply. He opened his mouth to argue the point that as his twin, he had the right to know what was going on. Before he could make a sound though, Kaoru's hand had been placed over his mouth suddenly and refused to budge.

"Man, stop worrying so much, seriously. I'm fine. If you really must know, I'm worried...I have a, um, crush on someone. And I know they don't feel the same, that's all."

Hikaru looked taken aback by Kaoru's confession and turned his head to look out the window, slightly hurt. His brother had a crush? When did this happen? It must be one of those girls at the Host Club.

"What's her name?" Hikaru asked curiously. He wasn't really sure why he wanted to know. What was he going to? Beat the girl up if she ever came around Kaoru again? Probably not.

"I don't want to say," Kaoru answered with a light blush. Seeing this only ticked Hikaru off more and he crossed his arms, frowning with hurt. Kaoru ran a hand through his own hair and continued, "but it's the most beautiful name you could ever hear. And I...I think it's more than a crush...I think it might be love."

"Driver, stop the car!" Hikaru yelled suddenly. The car screeched to a stop, jerking both twins around a bit. The driver turned around quickly and asked, "What's the matter Master Hitachiin?"

"I'll be getting to school on foot from here," Hikaru informed him as he opened the car door and slid out.

"Wait! Hikaru!" Kaoru shouted as he moved to get out too. The car door slammed shut in his face and he found himself staring out the window as his brother was lost in a mess of people, buidlings, and cars. To say Kaoru felt hurt would be an understatement. He felt abandoned, lost, and alone. It was hard enough to be in love with your twin brother, but to be hated by him was almost too much to bear.

"Shall I just bring you to school then?" the driver asked with a raise of his eyebrow. Kaoru thought about it, but there really wasn't that much to think about. He shook his head and said, "No, I'll be getting out here too."

"Very well, stay safe," the driver said as Kaoru opened the door and climbed out of the car. Kaoru ran through a maze of people, trying to find the only one out of them that resembled himself. "Hikaru! Hikaru, where are you!"

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Hikaru ran, he didn't care where to, he just ran. Wasn't it hard enough to be in love with his twin brother? To have him love someone else though...the thought was unbearable. How could Kaoru do this to him? They were the Hitachiin Twins! Only Hikaru should be able to hold Kaoru in his arms and whisper sweet nothings in his ear. Sure, it was to a group of screaming, giggling girls, but at least he got to do it. Now some girl was just going to swoop in and steal Kaoru away for him. It wasn't fair!

He found himself in a dark alleyway, staring at a dead end. He sighed as he walked over to it and slid down the wall to sit. He wasn't sure how long he sat there, not too long though, before he heard footsteps nearing him. He looked up, expecting him to see Kaoru's smiling face and hear his sweet voice telling him that everything was going to be okay. Instead, he saw a tall, muscular man smirking down at him.

"Well now, aren't you a pretty boy," the man said, his smirk widening and Hikaru's eyes did the same. This was not good, now he really wanted Kaoru! "We're going to have some fun, okay?"

Hikaru jumped up, ready to fight as well as he possibly could; the man only laughed. This wasn't going to be easy...

**Oh noes, what will happen to poor Hikaru?! I wanted the man to find Kaoru at first, but with the story as it is in my head, I think that Hikaru was the best for this. I already have quite a bit of the next chapter planned out, but not written down yet. If you have suggestions, or want a certain thing to happen, just tell me. Hikaru's life might be on your hands! So please review! **


	3. Twin Trouble

**Okay, here's the third chapter. I don't really like how this turned out...But I was kind of arguing with my best friend while typing it, so I was a bit distracted. Well, I hope you like it nonetheless. The reviews made me very happy by the way. As long as I get lots of reviews, I'll make the fourth chapter extra long, okay? Anyway, enjoy!**

"Hikaru! Hikaru!" Kaoru called through the mass of bodies. No one answered, no one cared. He ran all along the street, but no one turned their head to acknowledge the boy. He now felt more alone than he had in his entire life. "Hikaru…answer me! Please!"

"I'm so lucky I found such a cute little boy to play with," the man said with a scratchy laugh. "This will be so much fun, you'll see."

"Get away from me!" Hikaru warned the man, slightly shaking from both anger and fear. Hadn't he already dealt with enough today? He couldn't believe it was still early in the morning and he had already experienced so much grief. Thunder clapped behind him and he finally became aware of the lightly falling rain. This atmosphere made the situation seem even worse.

"Just shut up and behave," the man growled coming closer to the twin. Hikaru bit his lip, tasting blood. What was going on? What was this man going to do? Whatever it was, Hikaru didn't want to find out.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru shouted desperately, hoping that his twin would hear and come running. But then again, why would Kaoru even be around? Hikaru hadn't been the nicest while they were in the car together. His brother had probably just continued on his way to school. But there was still a chance right? There was still one small sliver of hope. "Kaoru!"

"Didn't I say to shut up!" the man exclaimed as he hit Hikaru's face, sending him backwards into the stone wall. Hikaru cursed as he gingerly touched his nose; face revealing how much pain he was feeling. His nose was bleeding badly and probably broken now as well. The man just smirked and advanced towards the injured boy. "Good, just sit there, that's a good boy."

Hikaru gritted his teeth in pain. There was no way he was going down without a fight. He quickly jumped to his feet and sent his fist upwards, connecting with the man's jaw.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru called again, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Why wouldn't Hikaru answer? Did he really hate Kaoru that much? Then he heard it, it was faint, but it was there.

"Kaoru...Kaoru!"

Kaoru spun around to face where the cries had some from. It was Hikaru, but where could he be? He started running in the direction he had heard Hikaru from. He wasn't sure exactly where he was going, but he just kept running. He needed to be with Hikaru now. He wasn't sure why his brother had gotten so angry at him earlier, but he swore to himself it was time, time for the truth, no matter how much that thought scared him.

"Don't touch me!" Hikaru yelled at the man, hitting the guy's hand away for the umpteenth time in a row. He was getting exhausted, and badly hurt. He had only been able to hit the guy once; the guy had been able to hit Hikaru a dozen times. Hikaru collapsed as he took a step backward, not able to continue defending himself.

"So fragile, aren't you? That's so cute," the man said as he picked up Hikaru by the front of his shirt and slammed him against the building. He smirked as he brought his lips close to Hikaru's.

"Hikaru!"

Both the man and Hikaru turned to see Kaoru standing about a dozen feet away from them, breathing heavily. The man looked from Kaoru to Hikaru with confusion on his face. Then his face broke out into a large grin. "Twins? I have twins to play with now? Oh goodie, aren't I the luck-"

He was cut off by a foot connecting with the side of his head, and he fell to the ground, moaning in pain. Kaoru stood over him, cheeks now stained with tears. "If you touch Hikaru again, I'll make you sorry!"

"Kaoru…you came…" Hikaru said, right before he collapsed.

"Hikaru!" Kaoru exclaimed as he bent down and took the unconscious boy in his arms. He shook him gently. "Hikaru, wake up. I have to tell you…I have to tell you the truth!"

**Okay, hoped you liked it. The next chapter will be so much better, I promise. Please review, I'll be looking forward to reading them. :)**


	4. Seeking Safety

**Okay, here's the next chapter. I hope it's good. I think I made it a bit longer than the others. I didn't get as many reviews as last time though. T-T Oh well, thank you to those of you who did review. Please read and review this one as well. Here you go...**

Kaoru sat in the alleyway on his knees, Hikaru in his arms. The rain was pouring down worse than before and lightning flashed above them, accompanied by the fierce roar of thunder. Kaoru was shaking slightly from worry and anger. He turned to look at the thug that had made Hikaru endure this pain. He was slowly getting up, holding his head at the spot Kaoru had kicked it.

"You thought a little kick like that would keep me down? Don't make me laugh," the man said smirking as his hand remained on his head. "I'm still going to have my fun."

Kaoru stood with Hikaru in his arms. Hikaru was heavy, after all he was a teenage boy, but Kaoru didn't even notice it. He remained focus on the man in front of him as he yelled, "You'll have to catch us first!"

He spun around and sprinted off as quickly as he could. There were heavy footsteps behind him as the man tried to keep up, but Kaoru was much faster, even with Hikaru in his arms. All he had to do was get out to the street and he'd be safe. He took a sharp turn to the right, positive this was the right way. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the large wall blocking him from the street. He cursed himself for being so stupid.

"You're dead when I find you!" the man yelled from somewhere around the corner. Kaoru knew he couldn't go back the way he'd come or the man would have no trouble catching him. He looked around for any sign of escape. His eyes landed on a single door only a few feet away from him. That would have to be it. If it was locked, there wouldn't be anything more he could do. So he prayed as he closed his eyes and turned the knob. Amazingly, it seemed like luck was finally starting to favor him as the door opened.

He hurried in and closed the door, locking it quickly. The man wouldn't break the door down would he? Kaoru doubted he wanted the twins that badly. He turned to see where exactly he was. It seemed like a bedroom. A small white bed sat in the corner and a dusty dresser was placed next to it. Only a mirror and a small vase of roses were the decorations. Other than that, nothing else was in the room.

Kaoru carried Hikaru to the bed and set him down gently, stretching his sore arms afterwards. He looked around a bit more and noticed to doors. One was open and seemed to lead to a tiny bathroom. The other was shut, sparking Kaoru's curiosity. He walked over to it, opening the door and walking into another room, this one was slightly bigger.

"Hey! What were you doing in my bedroom?"

Kaoru turned to see a boy about his age walking over to him with a frown on his face. When he turned, he also realized that he was in a small shop now, with antiques filling the shelves. The sign above the desk at the far wall read 'Sarah's Little Antique Shop'.

"I asked you a question. What were you doing in there? Explain yourself!" the boy demanded, crossing his arms after reaching Kaoru and glaring at the twin.

Kaoru put his hands out defensively and said, "Of course, I'll tell you right away. Just please, calm down." Kaoru spent the next few minutes explaining the situation, minus the whole being in love with his twin brother thing. The boy listened with interest, sighing as Kaoru finished his little story.

"Sounds like you two have had a rough day," the boy said with a slight frown. "Please, rest up here as long as you'd like. Oh, my name's Ryou by the way."

"It's nice to meet you. And thank you for being so hospitable at a time like this," Kaoru said smiling gratefully. He started for the bedroom. "I'd better check out Hikaru. No telling what that guy did before I got there."

"Let me help," Ryou offered, following him to the other room. "I'm training to be a doctor. I'm sure I could help out in a way."

"Thank you," Kaoru replied with a smile. They looked over Hikaru carefully; making sure nothing was bruised too badly or broken. It was his nose Kaoru was worried about most since blood was running down from it. Ryou reassured him that it wasn't broken in any way, and then cleaned the blood away with a wet washcloth.

They stayed in the shop area for a long time after Hikaru had been taken care of, Ryou telling Kaoru about all of the fascinating antiques. They didn't even hear Hikaru enter the room.

"Kaoru?"

Kaoru turned with surprise to see Hikaru standing in front of the doorway to the bedroom. He looked tired and weak, but curious as usual. Kaoru smiled and ran to his twin's side, hugging him lightly as to not hurt him any worse. "Hikaru, I was worried! How are you?"

"Sore as hell," Hikaru answered with a light smile. He saw Ryou and raised an eyebrow. "Who are you?"

Kaoru answered for Ryou. "This is Ryou, Hikaru. He helped us out and helped me clean you up a bit."

"Is that right?" Hikaru said quietly. He nodded at the boy, giving a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Well, I guess I owe you my thanks then."

"No, it was no trouble. I was just happy I could help," Ryou said with a cheery smile. Hikaru looked at the boy for a second more and then turned to go back into the bedroom. "I'm going back to bed, coming Kaoru?"

"Oh yes, of course. We'll be turning in for the night if that's alright?"

"Of course, it's fine. Goodnight then, sleep well," Ryou said with a smile, waving them off.

"I don't like him," Hikaru said once they were in the bedroom with the door shut. He sat on the bed and crossed his arms, looking like a pouting child.

"He only wants to help Hikaru," Kaoru said sitting next to his brother. "I think he's nice."

Hikaru looked at his brother and studied him for a long moment. He wondered if he should even ask the question lingering in his head. Finally, he gave in to curiosity. "Kaoru, I don't think you ever told me…Your little crush, it's a girl right?"

Kaoru looked at Hikaru with surprise and a light blush. Did he know? He looked down as he thought of the best answer. He didn't want to lie to his brother, but he didn't feel quite ready to be completely truthful. He decided just to answer the question.

"Please don't freak out Hikaru, but no. The person I love isn't a girl."

Hikaru's eyes widened and he glanced to the door. "It's him isn't it?"

"What?" Kaoru said looking up with confusion. He followed Hikaru's gaze and then realized what he meant. "Ryou?"

"I knew that boy was no good. Wait till I give him a piece of my mind," Hikaru said getting off the bed and starting for the door.

"No, Hikaru! Wait!" Kaoru said hurrying after him. "It's not what you think."

He grabbed Hikaru's arm but Hikaru managed to yank out of Kaoru's grasp. Ryou looked up as they approached, smiling as his eyes revealed curiosity. "What is it?"

"I hate you!" Hikaru yelled as the palm of his hand collided with Ryou's cheek. Both Kaoru and Ryou looked shock, Hikaru only shook with anger. "Stay away from my Kaoru!"

**Dun dun dun! What will happen?! Tell me if you liked (or hated) this chapter please! Maybe give me some ideas for the next one? I'll update soon if I get reviews:)**


	5. Finally it's the end

**Okies, last chapter, because, yeah, I'm kind of over Ouran High School and am currently obsessed with Supernatural...so yeah, check out my Supernatural fic too if you like this please. It'll make me uberly happy!**

The room was completely silent as the shock slowly wore off and Ryou moved his hand up to his cheek, wincing as he felt the sting from the slap. "H-Hikaru? What was that…?"

He trailed off and Hikaru turned and ran out of the building, leaving Kaoru and Ryou behind. Ryou looked at Kaoru questioningly. The twin sighed and said, "I'm sorry, but we'll be going. Thank you so much for all your help. Good bye" And then Kaoru ran out after Hikaru, without another word to Ryou. After all, the last time he had let Hikaru leave him like that some guy had nearly killed him. He saw Hikaru ahead of him on the sidewalk, getting lost in a mix of different people. "Hikaru! Hikaru!"

Kaoru ran forward, pushing people out of the way, not caring if he was being rude or not. "Hikaru, wait up!" He saw the familiar orange hair in front of him, and he hurried to catch up. Unfortunately, Hikaru had always been the quicker of the two, and easily escaped from Kaoru's sight again. "Hikaru!"

But he was gone. Kaoru spent the rest of the day looking everywhere for his brother. He called back home a number of times to see if Hikaru had returned, no luck. He looked at his watch and sighed as he realized he'd missed the entire day of school. He was sure his parents would be upset if they found out, but he didn't really have the energy to care anymore. His cell phone rang and he looked at the name, hoping it was Hikaru. He sighed again as he saw it was only Tamaki and answered. "Hello. Sorry, but I don't really have the time to-"

"Well make time!" Tamaki said through the phone, sounding frantic. "Kaoru, where are you?! All the girls are worrying like mad. Hikaru refuses to talk about you and-"

"Wait, Hikaru's there?" Kaoru interrupted, feeling a wave of relief wash over him.

"Of course Hikaru is here, but where are you? It's horrible to disappoint these girls Kaoru! They came here just to see you and you're-"

Kaoru hung up the phone and started running, this time towards the school. Luckily he was nearby so it only took him about ten minutes to run the entire distance. He ran to the music room and threw open the doors.

"Kaoru!" Haruhi exclaimed as she stepped away from the doors, startled. She breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good, you're okay."

"Kaoru, Kaoru!" Honey said as he ran to the twin, Mori following close behind. "We were worried about you!" Mori just nodded his head in agreement.

Kyouya looked over at Kaoru from his talk with some girls who looked extremely relieve to see Kaoru okay. He waved hello and Kaoru knew by the look in Kyouya's eyes that he was a dead man. Tamaki ran over and started pushing Kaoru over to a table in the room, where he saw his brother talking to a few girls who looked over just as Kaoru reached the table. Tamaki smiled and said, "Here you go ladies. We just located him, we're very sorry it took so long."

The girls smiled and Tamaki left. They all erupted into many worried voices. "Kaoru, are you okay?" "Where were you?" "You didn't get hurt did you?" "We were so worried!"

"I'm fine, just went on a little walk," Kaoru lied as he looked at his twin, who refused to return his stare. "I'm glad to see you're alright Hikaru."

Hikaru didn't answer, just completely ignored the other. Kaoru looked down at the ground with hurt. That was it, he couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't sure why Hikaru was so angry, but he was starting to get upset too. So maybe this way it would hurt less when Hikaru rejected him, which he was surely going to do.

Kaoru took a deep breath and shouted for all of the music room to hear him. "Everyone, I need to tell you all something!"

The room that had currently been filled with dozens of chatty girls, suddenly became eerily silent. Everyone's eyes were on Kaoru, including Hikaru's. "Okay, um, I have to say that I'm, uh, I'm in love with…"

Hikaru rolled his eyes and looked away, wondering why in the world his twin had to announce his crush with that stupid Ryou. Kaoru saw Hikaru look away and just closed his eyes and shouted it out, tired of keeping it a secret for so long.

"Hikaru, I think I love you!"

The room's silence was broken by dozen's of squealing girls, the Hitachiin fans of course were the loudest. Hikaru looked at Kaoru with a mix of shock and confusion, unsure if this was the truth or just another act for the girls. "But, Ryou…"

"No Hikaru, you were wrong. It's not Ryou I like. It's you, it's always been you." Kaoru saw the uncertainty in Hikaru's eyes and laughed. "And no, this isn't an act. You have no idea how scary it is telling you this, so you'd better believe me!"

Hikaru smiled and stood up. He was over to Kaoru in a flash, hugging his twin tightly. "Me too Kaoru. I didn't know how to tell you, but I like you too!"

Kaoru smiled with happiness and relief, hugging his brother just as tight as the room erupted into more high-pitched squeals of delight. The host club members just stared at the brothers. Haruhi sighed and shook her head, sort of expecting this. After all, it seemed like nothing was normal in this club.

"Um, whoops, Ryou…" Hikaru muttered as he let go of his brother. "I guess I'd better go apologize then…"

"Yeah, let's go." And the Hitachiin brother's walked out of the music room, hand in hand, laughing happily at Tamaki's shocked face as the lovely ladies clapped their hands in delight.

**The end**

**Sorry if you didn't like the ending, but it was the best I could think of. I'm starting to mix the Winchesters with the Hitachiins, and that's not good...because they're totally different. So yeah, thanks to everyone that read my fic. Love ya, buh-bye!**


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